


Nipple

by catcharms



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Crack, M/M, Surgery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 07:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6944791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catcharms/pseuds/catcharms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki Ken is in a pickle at the hospital because in order for his organs to be transplanted into him (Fuck you Rize) the doctors might need to go an extra mile on his nipple...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nipple

**Author's Note:**

> why the fuck did you click on this

I heard many sounds. Many gibberish and faint... They were unusual to hear. Why was I unconscious? What was going on...

"We have to transplant the organs into him!" ...transplant? "No, you're crazy!" ... I ...I ... What is going on?

All I remember is that date, with that... Oh fuck me up the ass. It was her, she did thi-

"NO! NOT HIS NIPPLE!" 

What!? My... My nipple, but I do-

"Shut up, Carl! We all have to make sacrifices!"  
"Please don't do this, we can... We can put the organs somewhere else!"  
"Somewhere else?! You're crazy, Carl! You can't just put these organs wherever you want. We have to cut the nipple out!"  
"No.. No..."

I had to stop this, to tell them the truth.

I suddenly awoke with a surge of adrenaline. I grabbed the Carl's neck. "Gh! Kk...keh,"

"You stupid fool," I said, "I... Am an anime boy. I guess your stupid mind couldn't figure that out...!" I threw him to the ground, and the woman consulting Carl let out a high-pitched scream. I took off my gown and pointed to my... What the fuck is it called again UH.. Fuck um.. The boob area??? Except I'm a guy, ew, boobs have cooties. I pointed over there, showing them, my sad, sad nipple-less self. 

"Ho.. HOO.. W-WHAT!?" The woman explained. I saw the door smash open, "Kaneki!" The small little adorable fluffy sunflower boy exclaimed.

It seems that my complete no-homo friend has heard my scream of triumph. "...Kaneki!" Hide ran up and hugged me. "Hide! I'm half naked!" I blew up in blushes. "No homo man... No homo." 

"No homo?"  
"No homo."

I kissed Hide in the lippity-lips. After we broke apart we said no homo again and are no love homo love increased.

Later that month, me and Hide now are married (not gay tho lol) and live in the Bahamas together.


	2. Nipples in the Bahamas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess what Kaneki and Hide now have a son and live in the Bahamas holy fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i fucking hate myself

It was 10 years after the war of CCG... Hide, me, and our German adopted son named Lev. But we are fuckin' Japanese so it's pronounced "Rev" fuck you.

I outside my cottage in the Bahamas coast, I built it myself with Hide. Wtf when I typed Hide it said it was suppose to be "Horse" shut the fuck up phone my no homo husband isn't a fuckin' horse.

I was watching my son build a sandcastle and then mercilessly fail. He started to cry, I sighed and walked up to him. "Stop fucking crying, you piece of shit. Nothing lasts forever." Lev sniffles up his tears, "Okay, daddy." "What the fuck, never call me daddy again. Are you gay or something?" 

Hide emerged from the cottage and gave Lev a hug, carrying him back inside. I followed, slowly looking at Hide's ass as we walked back inside. I smelled trash resonating from the boiling pot on the stove. "What the fuck are you making, Sunflower?" (Sunflower is Hide's nickname :3c) "...Spaghetti... It's Rev's favorite so..." "SPAGOOTER?! SUNFLOWER DO YOU KNOW WHAT I AM?!" "A... A ghoul..." "YEE, And that means I can't eAt the spaghetti." And then suddenly, Hide smiled. "Why are you smiling?" "That's why I'm here..." He grabbed my wrist forcefully and now I knew what he was doing. Hide pulled me to our bedroom, and I exclaimed, "Bye bye Rev! Eat your fuckin' spaghetitititititit!"  
Hide pushed me on our bed and he kneeled on top of my knees. "You'll be having me for dinner tonight." I smiled and exclaimed, "oOOHOHOHOHO" and Hide said right after, "HOOY HOOY HOOY HOOY!" I was surprised, "Hide you dirty bastard you..." And stripped him down to his underwear as fast as Sonic could ever go. But, I noticed something... Very grave. "Hi-hide, where... Where are your nipples..."

"What are you talking about?" He cocked his head. He looked down and opened his eyes wide. "Of course, Kaneki, you are not the only anime boy, silly." 

"Holy shit."  
"Yes, Kaneki, the holiness of shit."  
"That's pretty fucking hot."

I reached down his lower area and unbuckled his pants real fucking slow. "Hurry up, dipshit." Hide back talking me only increased my no homo love for him amazingly. I finally freed his peepee and exclaimed,

"WOW, WHAT A COCK!"


End file.
